Facts vs. Myths About Therapy or "A priest, a rabbi and a therapist walk into a bar...."

Chances are, you've heard your share of jokes about therapists and therapy. The punch lines range from references to shrunken heads and voodoo to mind-reading and Freudian slips.  Truth is, if you've never been in therapy (and sometimes, even if you have), there are likely alot of unanswered questions, vague assumptions and downright spooky misconceptions that may cloud your decision to seek therapy.  I'd like to offer a few thoughts (and facts) about therapy that may be useful. Let's start with five--facts or myths?

FACT OR MYTH?:

1. If I'm completely candid with my therapist, he might be very disappointed with some of the poor choices I've made.

This is a myth. While we often are judged at the hands of our family, friends, and colleagues, judgement has no place in your therapy. One of the foundations of an effective therapeutic relationship is suspension of judgement, or "unconditional positive regard" for you, the client. The focus of therapy isn't blame, it's relief from distress.

2. There's no way to know if therapy works or not. It's just a bunch of talk.

Not true. One study by none other than Consumer Reports surveyed hundreds of therapy clients and found that 87% went from feeling"very poor" to "very good," "good," or "at least so-so;" 92% went from feeling "fairly poor" to "very good," "good," or "at least so-so."  You might chuckle at a rating of "so-so," but if you ask someone who initially was so depressed he found it impossible to get out of bed in the morning, it's likely he found "so-so" a worthwhile improvement.

3. If I ask about my therapist's credentials and experience she'll feel offended.

Also untrue.  A good therapist will be happy to provide you with information about her training, licensure and experience in the field. Further, in the same study referenced above, they found that those clients who were "active shoppers" when choosing a therapist did better in therapy than "passive" clients.  Active shoppers not only asked about training and experience but also asked about frequency, duration and cost of treatment, as well as references. They also often interviewed more that one therapist.


4. The single most important factor in successful therapy is the relationship with the therapist.

This is true.  While a number of factors contribute to the success of your therapy, your therapeutic relationship--and the safety you feel in the therapy room--tends to be the single most important factor in the success of your therapy.

5. If I just try hard enough, a good therapist can fix me.

This isn't true. Mainly because therapists are not in the business of "fixing" their clients. "Fixing" suggests that your therapist can make a repair and all will be well.  Human beings are more complicated than this, and the work you do in therapy is work you do with your therapist; he doesn't do it to you. In fact, studies show that clients who are active in their therapy do better than passive clients.  You can be an active participant in your treatment by being as open as possible, asking for an explanation of your diagnosis and any unclear terminology, doing assigned homework (yes, therapy can include homework assignments), not cancelling sessions, and openly discussing any negative feelings that you may have toward your therapist.

How did you score? No matter what you thought about therapy before, I hope you came away with a clearer picture of what therapy can accomplish, how it works and how you can contribute to your own healing. We'll look at more facts and misconceptions in future posts.  Because the more you know, the more empowered you can be in your decisions. And that's no joke.

Thanks for listening.