Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Defense Mechanisms: How They Serve Us, How They Don't, Or Mother Nature: Great Protector, Lousy Therapist.

Defense mechanisms--we all use them, sometimes daily (often unconsciously), to protect ourselves from unpleasant thoughts and emotions.  Trouble is, these built-in ways of organizing and viewing our reality sometimes do not serve our true needs. As often as not, they only help us but a band-aid on the underlying difficulty. Recognizing how our defense mechanisms are at work can help us begin to see how we handle our emotions and unresolved tension; further, we can then examine if these really work for us and how we'd like to do things differently.

Here are five common defense mechanisms. Recognize anyone here?

1. Rationalization. Chances are you're familiar with this one.  It's defined as, "Creating false but plausible excuses to justify unacceptable behavior."  An example might be cheating on one's taxes, with the rationalization that, "The government is too big and powerful and has billions--they can spare it."

Why it doesn't serve us: if we truly believe that we're exempt from the rules of society or from basic ethics, we're more likely to behave in ways that will eventually get us in trouble--great or small.

2. Identification. People often use identification to bolster their self-esteem by forming an imaginary or real alliance with a person or group.  It's a way to feel better about ourselves by association: by joining a sports team, social group, club, fraternity or clique which we feel will elevate our perceived worth in the world.

Why it doesn't serve us: while identification does allow us to feel better at times, it can also take the place of genuine self-examination and change.

3. Displacement. Ever come home from a bad day at work and take it out on your spouse? Then you've used displacement, which is defined as "Diverting emotional feelings (usually anger) from their original source to a substitute target." 

Why it doesn't serve us: Actually, some forms of displacement can provide healthy outlets for anger, for example, taking frustration out on a punching bag or screaming into a pillow to release anger.  However, when the recipient of your displacement is a physical object (punching a hole in a wall) or a person (verbal or physical abuse), you have crossed a boundary between acceptable and unacceptable behaviors that could damage your possessions--and your relationships.

4. Regression. Regression is defined as "A reversion to immature patterns of behavior."  A reaction to frustration or disappointment, regression can take the form of an old-fashioned tantrum that would more likely be appropriate to a cranky two-year-old.  While it's often evident in teens, adults also exhibit their share of regressive behaviors.

Why it doesn't serve us: Like displacement, regression allows for release of emotions, but results in behaviors that put us in a very unfavorable light. Instead of evoking empathy or understanding, regression tends to put distance between us and others.

And, finally,

5. Repression. Repression involves keeping distressing thoughts and feelings buried in the unconscious.   Repression of painful memories has stirred much controversy, especially when these memories surface in the form of devastating accusations of others such as molestation or other forms of abuse.  Court battles have been fought over the validity of such memories, resulting in decisions which deem the memories to have varying degrees of validity from completely untrue to completely accurate.

Why it doesn't serve us: Pushing down feelings, emotions and painful memories can result in a buildup of anger and resentment. When the offending events are completely repressed, the accuracy with which they can be recalled is both unpredictable and often unreliable.

The laundry list of defense mechanisms is much longer than we can devote attention to here. Suffice it to say, mother nature has provided us with many ways to order our reality in order to feel better about it, from making seemingly valid excuses to completely erasing offending experiences from consciousness. Ultimately, they tend to do little help us examine the real issues in our lives that can cause us not only distress, but also a distortion of our actions and our place in the world.

While, as a species, we are blessed with remarkable mechanisms for adaptation both physically and psychically, defense mechanisms, more often that not, leave us just that: defended.

More on defense mechanisms later. Thanks for listening.

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