Many of us of a certain age (50+) have had the pleasure of the cheery notification from AARP (The American Association of Retired Persons), which reads something like, "Congratulations! You are eligible for the many benefits of AARP! Don't wait! Reply today for these exciting membership benefits...." And it goes on to tell you the many--and actually very beneficial--reasons to join the ranks of your cohort of 50+ year-olds.
It also says You are now officially an old fart.
I have compared notes with others who have received this notice. The reactions varied from "Who cares?" to "It felt like my draft notice." All kidding aside, this is, in my opinion, a great organization. If for no other reason that its AARP prescription discount actually saved my mother significant dollars on her medications in her later years.
The operative words here are "mother" and "later years." Not me. Not at my age.
I have to say that I have nothing against aging or getting older. I have no illusions about my age, my looks or my stage of life. I've earned my laugh lines. I exercise to stay in reasonable shape, but my knees remind me, almost daily that, despite the fact that they've each survived trauma, and a major surgery , they have continued to serve me faithfully for more than 21,000 days--and they are tired. And yet, I soldier on.
I have good friends and family who are pushing into their 60s and 70s with varying degrees of acceptance and grace. Some claim to "embrace" their age; others grit their teeth and endure it; still others seems to go blithely on without so much as a blip. They look wonderful, eat everything they want, sleep great, are as active as they care to be and, for the most part, exude contentment.
My mother was like that. All the way up to age 92, when she died.
So, how do they do it, those contented acceptors and doers of the improbable? How do they flourish in old age?
One word seems to surface again and again, in both my personal and professional observations of thriving older people: attitude.
A positive, accepting, realistic attitude about old age is about the only thing they have in common. Other than this, they have varying degrees of health, independence, social support and financial security. It seems, from what I can gather both professionally and anecdotally, that attitude is the key. Not a Pollyanna attitude, but one that says, without reservation, Yes I am (fill in the appropriate age--truthfully) and I'm basically ok with that. I recognize my limitations, but I also embrace my remaining abilities. I am grateful for what is, not despondent over what isn't.
Easy. No. Not for one minute would I pretend that those flourishing in old age have come by their stellar attitudes with ease. It has take them some combination of work: self-examination, self-reflection, acceptance of what is and the ability to ask for help. None of these are easy, and yet, the payoff can be big.
So, AARP, bring it on. While I have resisted joining for the past 8 years, who knows? You may get me sooner than I might like, but later then you have invited me. I really don't have anything against you or getting older. It will just take me some time to adjust to the idea that, like everyone else, if I'm lucky, I will get old.
Until next time, thanks for listening.
No comments:
Post a Comment