Getting The Most Out Of Group Therapy

The power of group therapy can be remarkable.  I've seen group dynamics bring out the best in people; they offer others support, guidance, compassion, and most of all, acceptance.

For some, group work provides feedback they can't get anywhere else. Often, what friends won't tell you, family won't tell you--group will, in a respectful and caring way.

Group work can help to alleviate shame around issues that you may think are only yours. Misery may love company, but a healthy group--and a good therapist--won't allow the group to become mired in misery and self-pity.  One of the greatest values of sharing difficulties with others is knowing that you're not alone. Another huge benefit is drawing on the strengths and experiences of others to find help--and hope.

Because successful group work depends on group members being vulnerable to others in the group, it's important that the room be a safe and respectful place.  Members must be able to suspend judgment in the room, and behave in a way that honors the pain and difficulty others may be going through.

This means giving others space. Knowing when to talk and when to be still.  Listening--really listening--to others talk about themselves and providing feedback to you. Done in a caring, non-blaming way, feedback from others who have been where you've been, can be powerful--and sometimes cathartic.

Of course, group work isn't for everyone.  As I mentioned previously, some clients are not in a place where they can take in others' stories and experiences. This is why most therapists require an intake interview prior to admitting you to a group.  It helps you and the therapist determine if you, the group, and group work itself will be a good fit.

For those who join my groups, I provide a tip sheet on getting the most out of the group experience. I want to acknowledge the words and wisdom of other therapists that appear mingled with mine below. I believe that these guidelines underscore some of the behaviors that make for a successful group experience; and hopefully sets expectations for participants.  I've provide these guidelines here:


Guidelines For Getting the Most Out of Group

1. Be on time. It shows respect for the group and minimizes the disruption caused by coming in late.

2. Be as honest and open as you can be with yourself and others.

3. Focus on expressing feelings as opposed to judgments.

4. Practice listening to understand, rather than to agree or disagree.

5. Try listening and reflecting when someone gives you feedback, rather than automatically jumping in to defend yourself.

6. If you feel the need to confront someone, be respectful but direct rather than commenting an aside to someone else or under your breath.

7. Use “I statements” which express and own your point of view rather than assuming everyone shares your experience or opinion.

8. Avoid generalizations and intellectualizations. These kinds of statements are usually more isolating than inviting.

9. Speak directly to, make eye contact with the person you’re addressing. This will help make connections with others in group.

10. Feel free to remain silent. Much can be learned in silence as well as through speaking.

11. Take responsibility for yourself in group. If you’re feeling uncomfortable, frustrated, bored or dissatisfied, tell us how you’re feeling and suggest a different direction.

12. Take risks. Fear is a sign that you’ve reached the limit of your self-concept. If you allow yourself to go beyond that it can be a freeing experience. Trust the group to support you in this.

13. Don’t smoke, eat or chew gum during the group. These activities tend to distract and diffuse intensity of the group experience.

14. Avoid cross-talk. It’s almost impossible to understand more than one person at a time. Please honor the person talking with your attention.

15. Power off all cell phones. The group needs your attention for only the short time we’re together each week. Phone calls/text messages are interruptive and disrespectful of the group.

In conjunction with or separately from individual therapy, group work can be transformative. Yes, it can be scary to sit in a room with strangers and talk about your innermost feelings. But, the good news is, they won't be strangers for long.  As you form bonds within the group, begin to feel comfortable, safe and emotionally held by the group, the fear can ease, then disappear altogether. Leaving you open to the strength and support of others who truly do understand. Or who at least try.

Thanks for listening.